Not your average truffle!

As the parent of a fifteen-year old daughter, I am constantly learning about the latest trends, apps such as Snapchat, Kik and Instagram and, of course music. However after a recent conversation with my daughter over the weekend I realize at 38 years of age, there is still much I don’t know about the latest slang.

Rappers Nikki Minaj, Drake and Lil Wayne recently collaborated on a song titled Truffle Butter. I heard the song and thought it had a nice beat until my daughter (15 mind you) enlightened me that truffle butter didn’t mean the wonderful condiment that you put on your steak and vegetables.  I looked at her perplexed before she gave me a response worthy of a Geico commercial. “Mom, everybody knows that.”

According to urban dictionary, truffle butter refers to a particular sex act that involves back-to-front door action, thus leading to bodily fluids the color of, ahem, truffle butter.    

After receiving clarification from my daughter and a little research from Google, I was a bit taken aback that my daughter was not only aware of the meaning, but seemed very casual in explaining it. She also explained the meaning to her very religious grandmother who heard the song on the radio and began shoulder dancing while she and my daughter were going to the store. My mother was indeed mortified!

Of course at 15, I don’t expect my daughter to live in a bubble in the age of ever growing technology. I was just caught off guard by all of the new slang and realized that I am apparently not as hip as I once thought.

Parents need an app just to help us keep up with the ever changing lingo and current trends. I’d rather be on fleek with things rather than be known as basic. 

Not Now!

In a recent interview with The Breakfast Club, songstress Sevyn Streeter,  commented that women shouldn’t ever turn down their mate for sex. She said, “You should never say NO to your partner.”

Of course she has received much backlash over her comments. I must admit though, while I think that we all have a right to say no, on some levels I agree with her. I believe that sex is a form of intimacy and a way to show love in a relationship. I don’t believe sex should be used as a form of punishment or reward. Unfortunately many people participate in this type of carrot-on-a-string thinking.

Sure there are times when sex is just NO. You’re sick or in pain, physically incapacitated or something else that is truly urgent. But saying no, men or women, to your significant other because you are “tired” (sex helps you sleep like a baby) , “have a headache” (the endorphins from sex act as pain relievers), or “feel dirty” (that’s what showers are for) just seem like poor reasons to deny your mate of having a much needed intimate connection with you.

And usually, if a person is constantly turning down their mate’s advances, it’s about more than sex, or the lack thereof. There is an underlying, unresolved issue that needs to be addressed and one or the other partner is either unaware or unwilling to tackle what the issue is. Refusal of intimacy (in any form), without addressing why, is a disservice to the relationship.

You ever notice how after sex or lovemaking, both sexes are more communicative and are more open to tackling difficult subjects? There’s a reason for that-dopamine.  I believe that sometimes when there are issues or tension in a relationship, connecting on a sexual level is a way to “break the ice” and ease into the conversation. Both people are usually calmer and not as stressed and feel more connected emotionally to their mate. At least I do.

Now this isn’t to say that neither mate can’t ever refuse sex from their partner. No one should ever feel forced to have sex. That’s not sexy anyway. My point is that it shouldn’t be used as a manipulation tool by either party. So if you’re a little tired from work, should you really tell your partner no or should you look at your relationship and value it the way you do work? Or your hobbies? Or your passions? Shouldn’t your relationship be one of the things you’re passionate about?